Saturday, March 03, 2007

Thanking the Lord Daily

I have thought of many title's for this blog but i settled for this particular one. First of all because there's so much i am and have to be thankful to God for.
Toward's the end of last year, a few things, both good and bad happened in my life that got me closer to God. I remember i had a small problem and a lady friend of mine in Kenya suggested that i get serious in talking to God, she even offered to pray with me daily about what was bothering me. I started praying daily, at first i found it hard because i felt a lot of guilt within me. I was thinking, aki what will i start telling God after being so unprayerful and then wanting to talk to him just coz i had this problem. With time i picked up momentum and i got comfortable praying..and praying real hard. Within a few days i started taking joy in talking to God, i started feeling much at ease and i even started looking forward to the next time i'd be praying-i had particular times for my prayers and during those times i'd even switch off my phone and just pray. Even i was surprised at how pleasant and comforting it turned out to be and with time i felt my burdens slowly lift off my shoulders, i started feeling at peace and i enjoyed every moment of it.
From then on i learnt that there truly is God, he cares, he listens, is willing to help and with him nothing is impossible.
I decided to keep praying and asking for help and guidance from above and i still do that upto today and i also decided that even when i dont have problems to pray about, i have to make it a habit to thank God for everything in my life. That's how i ended my 2006 and started my 2007.

I feel that there's so much to be thankful to God for that at times i get overwhelmed. Am not driving the biggest or the best car, i dont own a multi million mansion, i dont dine like a queen and i dont have the best paying job i could ever find but i still have a lot of things to be thankful to God for. Like my lovely family who are simply the bomb, my tiny car, my tiny apartment, my simple job that i sometimes hate but which pays my bills, feeds and clothes me and a lot of other things. God is great and he surely is Lord in my life and am not ashamed to say that. I have seen him work in mysterious ways and i've seen him answer my prayers, i have felt his warm comforting hands around me during the trying times and i know he has great things in store for me and for these and so much more am thanking him daily.

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Friday, March 02, 2007

Of infidelity

Am just from watching 'cheaters' and there's a lot going on in my mind right now after the things i've seen. I always make sure i watch it when i have the chance to. No offence but i especially love when there are black pple involved coz there's always a lot more drama, a lot more cursing and u know most blacks have a biiiiig ego and they try to get defensive when they jua they are national television. Anyway so i watched today's episode, i dont jua how old it is as we (pple in Finland) always get to view programmes/movies/tv shows much later..i dont know if they just take long to get here ama its coz they have to add the finnish subtitle before the presentation..i just dont know.
Today there was this african american gal who was suspecting her boyfriend and of course it turned out to be true, the confrontation was quite hot, the gals almost faught with the 'other woman' calling the official woman a whole lot of dirty names including whore and i found myself talking to myself saying 'look who's talking'!!Yaani i just dont get it, you are going out with my man and you know very well he's taken and when i catch you two red handed you have the guts to call me a whore?!!oh c'mon!!! Sometimes when i get to critically think about it i think that us women are our worst enemies. Why so?Because we dont like being cheated on, yet we go ahead and sleep/go out with married men or men who are commited to other women and we expect the other woman not to say anything to us or even dare to confront us! Is that fair, really??

Well, i know this world is not fair at all but surely sometimes i think some things can be avoided if only we'd all be willing to take that one extra step. I once was involved with a man who had another person in his life. I dont intend to go into detail about what happened but he convinced me that he had no one.Turned out that he still had someone in his life and when i came to learn about it, it was too late. Yaani it was real bad, real dirty situation that i still get goose bumps when i remember those days.I dont need to explain the rest but needless to say, from that time i learnt my lessons. And i vowed to never ever ever go out with a married/commited man-this particular one was not married or engaged but still, it was a bad situation for all of us. It's now been years and am over that and moving on with ma life but i always feel so much pain for women who get cheated on and i get disgusted with the women who allow taken men into their lives and their beds. Ok, i've been in a similar situation before so i dont want to sound judgemental but at times i think in a situation where a man is cheating on his woman, the other woman is at times to blame as much as the guy is. To some it may not make sense but well, to me it does. Its really upto us to investigate a man as much as possible so as to avoid unpleasant surprises later in the relationship. And i think its only us women who can help stop men from cheating!!Yes, i strongly believe that by discouraging commited men not only do we get rid of any unwanted dramas in life but you get to save another woman from the heartache. I know that probably that will never happen kwanza when some women have an addiction for married and commited men but aki its just sooo painful to have your man cheating on you and its even more painful when you think deeply about it and imagine that its a member of your own species causing you the pain-partly.

In my part of the world, there is a lot of cheating going among the kenyan community. Many have blamed it on the ever growing number of new chics and less jamaas,hmm...could someone please tell the finnish consulate in nairobi to be more generous with visas to the guys!that there's a crisis here!!??;-).I DO NOT even for one minute agree that less jamaas and more chics justifies anything;infact, i think its just a lame excuse for people to be immoral. Its true though that the ratio of kenyan jamaas to chics is 1:4(no proof that this is the official ratio but am sure its close to that), but i also think that many chics here have absolutely no respect for other people's relationships..ZERO, NONE,NOLA, NOTI!!!!! I have never and i dont think i'll ever find out why but its just soo sad. And of course guys just sit back and enjoy the best of both world's and watch mamas fighting over them. Its gross, eeeeewww!!Most kenyan chics here need to STYLE UP!simple. And as i always say and will keep saying, woe unto people here when someone lands with the big bad virus and decides to teach people here a lesson. God forbid but people here need to start behaving like civilised people!

I am targeting no one in particular but to my knowledge this is what happens;When there's a new chic in town almost every man tries to hit on her and even before here life has began she's slept with one or a few of them and the chain goes on and on and on.At the end of the day its like we are all sleeping with each other indirectly.Women here esp. the newer ones, change hands from one man to the next...like money. It's kinda interesting though to watch all the drama but on the other hand its a sad case and at times you just pity the girls kwanza later on when the men are done with her and their girlfriends gang up to hate on her so she has no girlfriends and she's been branded the town slut. It's......i dont even know what's the best word to describe it but its a f***** up situation.
I choose from the beginning to have nothing to do with women here. I arrived in Finland, was told what goes on, saw it for myself and decided ei kiitos(finnish for 'no thanks'). The fewer friend i have, be it men or women, the better for me, and it works out perfectly for me as i hate having to carry unwanted baggage and i enjoy my space.